Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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