laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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