i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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