You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
