I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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