I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
