scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
