I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My breasts were aching with rage.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
