He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
