Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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