his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
