I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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