At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
