Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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