after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
