if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
