Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
