I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
