I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
