I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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