Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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