I'm jealous of your bromance
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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