we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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