Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
