I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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