Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
