I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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