No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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