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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
