never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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