I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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