You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize