so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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