He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
