Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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