so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
