My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
