i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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