Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
