Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
BRING THE BAGELS
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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