You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
