is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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