My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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