the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
