is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
