best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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