she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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