We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
