just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize