I just threw up on my dentist
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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