also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
