I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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