Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
