1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
