Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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