Christians are straight up FREAKS
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
