Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
