the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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