Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
