you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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