It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
