Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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