you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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