quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
