Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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